Mom: So when are you going to move? You said you would move when the baby turned one, he’s one now. What about preschool? Didn’t you say you were going to apply for preschool?

Me (after surveying the kitchen floor strewn with Tupperware, tea boxes, and loose tea bags, listening to Baby crying from a need of Tylenol, thinking about taxes — and there was a lot more to this conversation): Mom, you get three annoying questions a day. I think you used two of them, so think carefully about how you want to use your last one.

Luckily, instead of asking a third question, she laughed.

Smart move, Tiger Grandma.

2 Replies to “three”

  1. I am SO gonna use that with my dad. His whopper of a doozy of a ridiculous question the other day: “So is the baby going to be at her first birthday party?” I was so thrown by it that I told him no, she won’t be.

    And this one wasn’t a question, but it bears mentioning: The other day, my dad, my daughter and I went out to lunch. He not only refused to hold her so I could eat (“I already put in my time with you” was the money quote), he ate my lunch as well as his. I kid you not.

  2. oh tony, NO! my mom says so many things to me that cause me to close my eyes for a minute and pretend it’s not happening.

    though i do love your answer about whether the bday girl will be there. your stories are totally cracking me up.

    my mom is so into the baby that she forgets to remember to consider me once in a while. the other day, with baby in the ergo, she was tugging down his hat so intensely that she ended up punching me in the chin…by accident…i think.

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