I don’t know why I’m so hung up on this idea. I’m old enough to know that some folks just live their lives with a job and hobbies they really dig, which is cool, but I find myself hungering for a mission. Had it when I loved acting for many years. I told Husband, who still loves and pursues acting professionally, the other day that I envied him — I wish I still loved acting so that I could be depressed about not getting any parts rather than being depressed that I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grow up.
There are those kids who you grow up with who seem to know they want to be a lawyer and doctor from age 6, and they really do it — they grow up, go to the appropriate schools, and practice forever. I used to envy them for their sense of destiny and centeredness…but they’re also like kind of boring, no offense. I mean, really? You have no major interest in life except law from childhood to past your 40s? Seriously? That’s kind of creepy.
So although it’s a windy, schmucky path, I do find myself more drawn to stories of people who switch paths mid-career, try a variety of different things in their professional life instead of settling for a stable rhythm. On some level, the wandering makes more sense to me…and yet, I still want a calling. It would make me so much more efficient.
I’m with you. After much soul-searching tho, I think I just want to sit at home doing whatever the hell I want with an occasional foray into the outside world. That makes me sound like an agoraphobic wierdo. Oh well. If that’s my calling, then so be it.
i think that is a a high=quality of life actually, or can be. i still have pangs for a specific calling at times