the church of Oprah

images1.jpg I don’t have an organized theory about Oprah, just that she wants to rule and wants us to worship her and will be pretty nice to her if we play nice. And I’m not saying that this is a bad thing. I mean, you can go on Oprah and win a Chevrolet. That’s pretty cool. She can say which books do well, which movies tanks, maybe who will be president, and all that jazz, but I’m most intrigued by the more spiritual, more woo-woo side of her that has come out of her empire. Like there’s Dr. Phil, whom I’ve never listened to but I understand Howard Stern considers him a mortal enemy — but he’s hired to perform a fairly intimate duty of couseling on love lives. And then there’s a plethora of columnists on her web sites on eating well, striving to be your best, how to beat the blues, which I’m like, why Oprah? And maybe, if I were being really cynical, it’s b/c that’s like the best way to dominate a people is to get a hold of their spirit and their beliefs. If I’m being positive, I’d say she’s just trying to lessen people’s misery and that in itself is not a bad thing. And hell, I’d take Oprah’s advice. Just look at her. She looks like the goddess of corn or something in every photo.

Control in itself doesn’t flip me out. After all, it’s not like she’s preaching have kids, drop out of high school, do drugs, show the paparazzi your intimates, etc. But it just, I guess, I just find it interesting.

And my other random thought is that I think Madonna wants to be Oprah. After the acting thing bombed several times, with her whole Kabbalah/children’s book series, I think she’s going to go for spiritual domination, so look out for her talk show.

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