Oh dear god. I don’t think my mom should be allowed to interact with anyone famous. My parents, husband, and I went to the movies tonight (saw “Beowolf,” which was okay, kinda stupid, but who cares, I seem to like all movies, good and bad) and Paul Giamatti was there alone. I hate running into celebrities b/c they make me nervous. I just have like this inane smile plastered on my face and any ability to speak quickly flees from my body. We were all shoved in together like cattle being led to slaughter (it’s packed on a Friday night with teenagers) and David actually says hi to him b/c the Oscar winner is shoved between him and my dad. After he passes us, I inform mom who he is. “You know, the guy from ‘Sideways.'” And she says aloud, “Oh! But he’s so much chubbier and uglier in the movies!” And right then, he passes us again–possibly, POSSIBLY within earshot, which made me want to hurl.
I’m sorry! I’m SORRY PAUL GIAMATTI!!! MY MOTHER HAS NO INSIDE VOICE AND DOESN’T MEAN ANY HARM!!! COME BACK! GIVE ME A JOB! I’m so mortified.