No way! No way! NO WAY! Dude, he’s leaving the White House. I’m shocked. I mean, I wish this was like four years ago, but okay, I’ll take it.
And I notice he has as round a face and large a head as I do. My friend Jesse and I were bonding over the size of our noggins recently. He had mentioned it as a possible theater thesis focus when he gets to grad school this fall. As for me, I shared with him an anecdote my cousin Aimee loves to tell.
When I took tae kwon do the year after college (lived with my folks b/c I was in book publishing, which is like going on welfare), I had to get sparring gear and the only size that fit me was EXTRA LARGE, which felt so embarrassing and unfeminine, I just sucked it up and got the size LARGE helmut. MISTAKE. I mean, survived, but it was just a little too tight. Those were the days when a sparring match meant me physically cowering in the corner while I got whaled on by hyper 17-year-old boys. I had no mad skillz back then. Not like the ninja I am today. Ha ha ha ha ha.
As for Karl Rove, perhaps the size of his head fueled an insecurity that influenced one of the worst American presidencies ever? Who can say. He’s like the Darth Vader of the Republican Party. I’m so glad he’s outta there.
I have two words for those 17 year old boys who terrorized you back in the day: HEAD BUTT.
And while you’re at it, head butt Karl too.
both would make me light-headed, but i love your problem solving ways. you’re hired!