Month: January 2015

My mom thinks Sponge Bob is a cheese.

Me: Mom, Sponge Bob is not a cheese. He is a sponge.
Mom: But he’s yellow, he has holes.
Me: Mom, sponge. His name is Sponge Bob not Cheese Bob
Mom:….

Send backup! Oh the humanity!

As we make preparations for my parents to get older with some freedom and financial protection, Mom and I periodically get stressed out and overwhelmed. One day, she threw her hands up in the air and said “ugh, why bother. Such a headache.” I said, “Yeah, I should just come over and put a pillow over your face and Dad’s.” And we laughed and laughed and laughed. I don’t know of any other family who deals with the darkness by joking about it, but laughing helps!!!

When I saw this movie in the 90s, I had no idea I would think about it for years. The plot revolves around a young university student, played by Gong Li, who is kind of “sold” as Fourth Wife of a wealthy dude once her family runs out of money to pay for her education. She is more enlightened than the average bear, so initially she looks down on the whole process of whichever wife the husband chooses to sleep with that night, gets a red lantern outside her room and this amazing foot massage after — and I suppose, the status that goes with being chosen. But pretty quickly, she gets sucked into the whole competition and is butting heads with Third Wife, a witchy, stunning opera diva nasty from the start. First Wife is a completely decrepit husk so Husband doesn’t bother hooking up with her, and Second Wife not much more, an older lady with a pleasant face, who welcomes Fourth Wife very warmly. What happens as the story progresses is that Fourth Wife learns that Third Wife is actually a good person, more frustrated than anything by circumstances, and that it is the kindly Second Wife “who looks as kind as Buddha but will stab you while you’re asleep” she needs to watch for. I cannot tell you, unfortunately, how many times I realized how insightful this movie was about people, how they are not what they seem, in a good and bad way.

When Third Wife (T.W.) and Fourth Wife (F.W.) become chummy, F.W. sees that T.W. is having an affair with the Husband’s doctor. Second Wife (S.W.) spills the beans, T.W. is taken in the middle of the night and murdered. As revenge (kind of), Fourth Wife animates T.W.’s abode with banners (can’t remember exact details) and plays a record of T.W. singing opera, which makes everyone, including S.W., think that T.W. has come back from the dead to haunt them all for her wrongful death. After completing her redecorating assignment, F.W. walks to and fro in T.W.’s old room, having completely lost her mind.

I don’t really know what kind of life advice that ending offers.

Spoiler alert: Sorry, this whole thing is a spoiler alert, but it’s still worth seeing the movie!!!

So lucky. On the way back driving from our Thanksgiving trip to KY, we got a wee bit tired of Yo Gabba Gabba and I popped in an early 80s hits CD my friend Joslyn gave me year ago, which includes “Eye of the Tiger,” “Addicted to Love,” and “Owner of a Lonely Heart.” To sing the chorus of “Eye of the Tiger,” Husband and I sing pretty loudly to make sure we hit that key high note. After we sang the chorus a while, suddenly, we hear a mighty trio of baby chick voices join us for “eeeeeeeeeeeye.” Husband and I cracked up with what I’d describe as disbelief and complete delight. Once home, we now regularly play the fine video a few times a day and the singing now comes with dance moves, air guitar, etc. Tonight, Twin Boy somersaulted at every chorus. How do you top that.

When my mom came back from her first trip to China, she saw the Great Wall. You know what she said? “It was no big deal” after a shrug. When my cousin Aimee saw the Great Wall, she said, “Um, yeah, the Great Wall was pretty great, pretty massive.” We both cracked up at how hardcore my mom is. Don’t mess with my mom. She will not be impressed.

It’s simple: I am Beaker and Husband is Dr. Honeydew. I am always freaking out and he like horse-whispers me back to calm. I am working on becoming a Dr. Honeydew and then it will be a marriage of two honeydews.

There’s an artist who paints a picture of every item she wants to purchase, thereby circumventing that instinct. I don’t know if that would work for me, because I don’t paint as beautiful, but I want this!