I am not the most patient person, so I’m not always so winning during this stage of my life that is heavily steeped in caregiving.
I was being snippy toward my mom during a recent family vacation. There are days where I feel like I just want to go somewhere where I am not taking care of anyway. I apologized to Husband, because hosting my folks can be a lot and they’re not even his family and he said. “They have given us so much and they raised you. The least we can do is take them on vacations.” He also told me a few stories about Yao Ming (it was a really long drive), the enormous NBA basketball star circa the era of Shaquille O’Neal. Shaq said multiple racist comments to razz Yao, including How do Chinese people name their kids? They throw silverware down the stairs.” (I had never heard this joke. Husband was not surprised), among other tasty bits. And Yao’s response was “That’s too bad. I would like to introduce Shaq to my parents,” which actually happened and Shaq reported they were lovely people and rescinded his ridiculous, offensive remarks. Husband and I discussed how it’s actually challenging to stay racist when you actually get to know or even just meet people of that group. But before I go down the Yao Ming/race discussion rabbit hole, one more thing Yao said that I found helpful. A reporter asked him how he thanks his parents for training him for basketball and raising him, and he said “how does a blade of grass thank the sun?”
It’s a bit proverb-lite, but still, it made me feel like a heel, gain perspective again, and remember to be humble me settle down and remember to be humble. I have to help my parents, even when they get on my last nerve. They deserve it, and I don’t know, all that eased my mind and restored my patience. Yao, Husband, thank you for bringing me back down and helping me not behave like a turd.