When I was growing up, my mother really wanted me to get this eyelid surgery that puts a fold in the Asian eyelid. With that fold, you can do so many things! You can conquer the world! You have an obvious place to put your eyeliner! There’s a word for that fold, which for the life of me I cannot remember. Oedipal? Marsupial? Something like that. If I were a scholar or more concerned with getting things right (rather than getting things in the vicinity of right), maybe I’d google it for you. It was a source of great angst in my young development; I felt my mom was sending me a message my face wasn’t good enough and my mom just wanted me to do this thing that would help me. After much contemplation and gabbing about it and time, I eventually realized it wasn’t something to take too seriously or personally, everybody was doing it, etc. etc. etc. From the sometimes inelegant way my mom talks to my child, someone she loves more than anyone on earth, I gleaned that it is most likely she loves me very deeply as well, despite her cave-woman-communiation skills.

Anyway, all of that is just background for my point today. Dudes, I am aging, you can tell from my face. And one of these developments includes a marsupial fold on my eyelid. I now have a place to put eyeliner. If I actually evolve to the point where I wear makeup, this will be convenient. Everybody wins!

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