Wow, I had no idea having a baby would make me even more of a roller coaster of a girl. It seems I panic about something new every day. Today, I panicked about not having enough money, most likely because my brain finally has enough oxygen to understand how expensive day care really is. And in the midst of my panic attack, my fears felt extremely real and unwarranted and the world was going to spontaneously combust…until I remembered yesterday, I had a full-blown panic attack about not eating enough fruits and vegetables every day and how that could cause the baby to have scurvy, and I don’t even know what scurvy is. Isn’t it like something pirates get?

My point is having another person depend on you for their livelihood — I’m just noticing all the different effects to can have on a person. Of course, there is the mixture of absolute bliss and utter torture, but there are these other B-list impact influences too.

Still, I would not mind being loaded. Just saying.

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