call of the wild

I spent about 30 minutes on the phone with Sasquatch’s pediatrician, trying to piece together the meaning of Baby’s grunts and arched back and splayed limbs. What’s it mean when he yowls like a cat? What does it mean when he unfurls his tongue or purses his teeny lips into the size and shape of a popcorn kernel? It’s really weird, trying to take care of someone who doesn’t speak. It makes me feel like we’re in a National Geographic special and we’ve adopted a pet penguin. What amazes me is that our pediatrician has chosen this as her full-time job. There are people who are gifted at this art of interpretation. For example, one post partum nurse was able to tell us the Baby’s needs based on the sound of his cries. I tried to get her to teach them to me via imitation, kind of like bird calls. I even went macaw macaw as an example of what I was looking for, but the nurse got very shy and fled.

2 Replies to “call of the wild”

  1. I can relate. I never knew what the hell people were talking about about the different cries, either. Maybe because my kid had colic, and cried for hours for no reason, his cries ceased to have meaning. Now that he’s six, I can tell when he’s fake crying, does that count?
    Of course, now that he can explain himself, I find out that he’s crying for reasons like he wanted oreos for breakfast, and I wouldn’t give them to him. So, not helpful.
    I figure if the baby has a clean diaper and is fed, all you can do is whatever jiggle dance calms him down.

  2. colic is like a blanket term, right? like whenever a baby cries, it’s colic? i don’t know, b/c i have a mystery baby crier on my hands.

    fake crying is hilarious…and the whole fact that he wanted oreos is so cute and makes me go OH GOD IT’S NEVER GOING TO END.

    i took the baby for a walk at 3 a.m. last night, hoping it’ll make him sleep. no dice. i think everything is about digestion, or so i’m told. he does do the cluster feed thing where he totally doesn’t get enough to eat when nursing so he wakes up an hour later. now we’re trying to give him the pacifier first so that we’re not like feeding him every hour for the rest of our lives. i do shove food at him whenever he’s upset, which can lead to spit up when it’s not the right answer….baby bulemia

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