pandemic parenting highlights

1) We caught Boy Wonder Twin snacking in bed from a bag of sugar. (He was settling for some self-care time with a book, lying down, with a bag of…sugar. Not even chips, or candy, but white, granulated sugar. I was afraid to ask Husband if he was just grabbing it with his hands or at least had a spoon. Nope.

2) I pulled my back. Yay! I’m mortal!

3) I am being furloughed. Hooray!

4) The apartment is a colossal mess. Woo hoo! I feel like I’m in an anti-gravity chamber when I walk through, priorities flit from my mind.

5) First Son has taught himself ukelele. He started with simple Beatles tunes and now plays Guns n’ Roses and Metallica. I have not picked up any new skills. I eat a great deal more of ice cream though. Initially, a child playing a fey instrument was utterly charming. Now, if I hear him pluck out “Sweet Child of Mine” any more, i may murder myself.

6) I go into the office once a week. It is empty, and yet, every week, a fly hovers over my face the entire time. Am I disgusting? Am I Pig Pen? Or is it so lonely, he needs to fly up into my grill like that?

7) Girl Wonder Twin seems okay. She has perfected her withering look, complete with a slow blink and lifting her wrist as if she wears a watch, implying I am behind.

8) Boy Wonder Twins is losing his mind. He hates remote schooling, seeing his sister all the time, and the pandemic with a fiery passion (see number 1).I do think everything is going a bit smoother this fall than last spring. It’s early though. I could be wrong.

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