the witcher

Man, this show is so bad. “The Witcher” is the poor cousin of “Lord of Rings” and “Game of Thrones.” It is so incredibly stupid, and yet – it scratches an itch. The character names are lazy – instead of “Jennifer,” they have “Yennifer.” Instead of “Harold,” they have something like “Yarold.” In a pivotal battle scene, an actor yells out “let’s do this!” What did they invest their budget in? Not the writing. I will say the special effects of slimy monsters and athletic skeletons and dragons look as good as a Marvel movie (but keep in mind I don’t really have an idea how to discern that stuff and my eye sight is terrible – I have these stupid progressive glasses now, which virtually guarantees I see the world out of focus 99% of the time.) The actors wear some weird Emmy gowns and peroxide blonde wigs go through forests and hills. No pointy ears though. The setting seems like legitimate hills and forests, but I keep expecting to see a port-a-potty something else that betrays the budget limitations. Sure, the story says it’s taking place on a magic mountain, but is it actually like Van Saun Park in New Jersey? I make fun of it, but the jokes on me, because I CANNOT LOOK AWAY. Now that we have binged the first season, I don’t know what to do with myself.

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