Husband: Wonder Twin Boy, where did you get all this money? Let’s put it in the front pocket so you don’t lose all of it.
(My ears perked up because the kid owes me $3. I would also accept five recycling bucket emptying jobs as payment.)
Wonder Twin Boy: I got it from First Son.
Husband: Why? For what?
Wonder Twin Boy: He gave it to me so I don’t ever tell on him again.
This was the best story I’ve heard all week. As Husband and I discussed, this was pretty shrewd of First Son. First Son bought lifetime rights with only fifteen dollars –- absolutely worth it. In the end, Husband made Wonder Twin Boy return the money, and cautioned all kids that if they spend more than a dollar, they needed to check in with a parent. Both boys wept intensely –- First Son wept because he was cornered into admitting the parameters of the arrangement (which he absolutely knew was shady) and because he lost out on a super sweet deal. For Wonder Twin Boy, it was simpler: a loss of fifteen dollars’ worth of tiny plastic figures, rubber balls, and fake teeth he would have bought from the quarter machines on the corner.
Oh my god, parenthood is so hard, but I love moments like this. They are not robots. They have heir own ideas and practices.