Mom: Are you okay? You look like a drowning victim.
Me: Thank you. Drowning victim was what I was going for .
How can I not love my mom? Look, I know her word choice is harsh but it’s also so specific, over the top, creative, and just like from her own world that I just eat it up, and stuff my looks I don’t even hear. Plus, for all her insanity, she really, really cares about me and expresses it in a very twisted way.