F.U., Lilo and Stitch, F.U.

download (6)download (7) I’m not always an honorable parent, but having already survived Toddler Survivor the night before, I put on the Disney movie “Lilo and Stitch” as soon as I got home so that I could make dinner. I had never seen “Lilo and Stitch,” but I know other families who have watched and the illustrated characters look warm and cuddly. I was expecting a story of like a little girl and her rascally pet getting into crazy adventures like mixing up honey with peanut butter by accident.

Um, do you know what actually happens in the movie? Aliens from another planet shoot guns at escapee Stitch and orphan Lilo, whose big sister is trying to adopt her after their parents died in a devastating car accident. There is a great deal of violence from the aliens — punching and hitting (thanks), anxiety over families being split apart (thanks), and Lilo’s house being annihilated due to alien enemy fire power (thanks). I had to explain what “Child Protective Services” was at one point, where the orphan’s parents were, etc., etc. I repeatedly reassured the kids this was only a story. My kids, innocent screen watchers who flip out during a challenging episode of “Curious George,” scream-cried throughout the movie. I looked at First Son who was screaming “Nooooooo!” with tears streaming down his face. [Face palm.]

Of course, I did think about turning it off. I paused the movie in the middle for a little belly breathing, which Wonder Twin Daughter said was really helpful, but they wanted to keep watching, and I figured, the happy ending could act as a healing salve after all the cinematic suffering they witnessed concluded.

I sat and held them, hid them from the action. Dinner ended up being was a random mix of noodles, fruit, whatever leftovers I could pull from the fridge in the rare moments Wonder Twin Son let go of my legs. Hooray! Parenting win! Winning!

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