Husband and I rarely go to the movies, but when we do, man do we have a good time. We’re like Wow! Lights! Music! Guns! Hot models chasing each other! Oh my god, I’m out of the house and yet the sun is down at the same time! And then I’ll check out the Times and be surprised that the flick suffered a lackluster review, to which I always respond, perhaps critics should have three kids, not see movies for years, then go out. Truly, those conditions will make every film feel like an epic endeavor and accomplishment.
Anyway, I hate scary movies, so it’s not a good use of my movie allotted time on earth, but since I have one friend I owe big time and she loves them I go. This friend visited me every Friday with food during my maternity leave with the twins, because I was too wiped out to leave the house. We didn’t even know each other very well at the time, but she was so generous with her time, company, and food, even when she had a family of her own, that even though horror films scary the bejesus out of me, I go when she asks. The last one was Insidious 3, about a demon who gloms on this young girl and is sucking her soul out or something. Her fate depends on a medium who must overcome her demons (not like inner demons, but like actual, scary-as-sh*t demons who sneak into her house and move her stuff and choke her) in order to help the young girl. Thankfully, it all works out in the end, otherwise, the nightmares would be endless, because it is terrifying. I forced myself to watch some of it, but I cope with these movies by taking my glasses off to blur the action – honestly, that can make it worse, since audio is so crucial in these films to heighten the tension.
I survived. There were four times the movie made me scream. There were times when the main demon popped up unexpectedly, or put a gooey hand on the heroine’s shoulder, etc, that were darn freaky, and so startled, I let out a few screams. Sadly, these were not like quick staccato screams, but like long, a sustained, high-pitched soprano screeching. A wee bit embarrassing. Luckily, my volume fit in with the audience because they were also very loud, offering running commentaries (“Don’t go in there alone!†“Turn back!†“Put on your pants!†whatever etc.), which is annoying for other movies, but comforting in this case When the medium turns her luck around and actually punches out a demon, the whole audience roared. I did too. I applauded wildly. I fist pumped in the air and let loose a loud, victorious “YEAH!â€
I don’t get out much.