My mom expresses love through worrying and passed on a long list of Forbidden Foods as a guideline. Apples, she cautioned, are the worst for pesticides so don’t feed the kids apples! Etc. Etc. Etc. She means well, and I agree with this sort of advice — but dude, I don’t have time to read it or take it in right now. Doesn’t matter. Because Boy Twin ate the WHOLE LIST this week — an entire 8.5″ x 11″ page…is paper a forbidden food? I’ll never know. Then tonight, he threw up on me and then rubbed my shoulder, massaging the vomit into my skin.
Genius.