Flat Head Versus Round Head

My mom is fixated on the baby having a round head. To her, I think, it’s like the ultimate in beauty. We’ve already gotten in several fights about it. She insists Baby needs to sleep on his stomach with his head sideways, so his head doesn’t flatten from the mattress, whereas current parenting wisdom says babies should sleep on their back to avoid Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

I’ve actually asked friends about this, and the answer I got was “When a child is totally neglected, as in never picked up or held, they get flat heads. For instance, children in orphanages have flat heads.” Mom has come back with “There is a special helmet you can put your baby in. I will buy it for you.” When we fight about it, I literally melt down into “Death trumps flat head! Mother status trumps Grandma!” but she’ll just talk over me about how one of the best gifts she gave me as a parent is my round head.

Fortunately, after a serious talk about how the topic raises my blood pressure, she has dropped the subject with me. But darn it, Mom gets her way. After all our bickering, I now totally surreptitiously feel up the back of baby heads and children heads, checking for round head. I made my cousin feel my head up the other day. She said I have a SQUARE HEAD. What is THAT about.

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