So I’m having a boy. I can’t tell you how shocking that was to me to know — mostly, because I am a girl, I know nothing about being a boy, and I now have a little penis in my body. Is that not wild?
Girls are easier in that the clothes are cuter and the names are nicer, but whatever, my mother has yelled at me repeatedly to stop expressing these things because the baby can hear me, so after this blog, I will stop.
Naming a boy is not easy. Do you know what the baby books list as possibilities? Agamemnon, Dionysus/Bacchus, and Scott. The names get so bizarre that “Banjo” starts to look normal, and you find yourself saying, “Yeah, Banjo. Banjo’s a good name.”
This morning, it occurred to me while Ive been expending all this energy flipping out about having a live being growing inside me, it might be weird for the baby today. Like he could be thinking, “Wait a minute, there’s someone out there. Let me kick again and see what happens. OH MY GOD, THEY KICKED BACK, this is so like Encounters of the Third Kind,” etc.
Sorry if you’re getting news from this site about my life from the blog. I tried to snag all pals before I started yakking about all this, but did not succeed, so major sorries.
The baby is half of you so the likelihood that he’s like “OMG THEY KICKED BACK” is pretty high. Although, if he takes after The Hub, he’ll be kicking some mellow chakra grooves and saying “s’all cool, baby.”
My friend’s daughter’s best friend is named Ptolemy. That’s not fair to give a kid a name with a silent P. Really. Playground dialogue as follows:
Ptolemy: No it’s TOLOMY. The p is silent.
Rest of Playground: (you know where this is going)
PTOLEMY!!! That is sooooo mean.
i hope the baby is like David, except he turns library books in on time.