Me and Mom standing in front of the flower I gave her on the Mother’s Day.
ME: Oh my god, you killed it. You couldn’t keep it alive one day?
MOM: It came like that. [suddenly yelling] You gave me the most cheap flower for Mother’s Day in elementary school! Gold, gold, something.
ME: Marigold?
MOM: Yeah! That’s it.
ME: Wrong, carnations are the cheapest flowers.
MOM: No, they’re not.
ME: Yes, they are.
MOM: No, they’re not. You gave me a corsage once too. But I still remember the [suddenly yelling] cheap flower!
ME: Uh, yeah, I didn’t have a job in elementary school.
MOM: Well, you got money from somewhere. Don’t get me flowers any more.
I spent a buck fifty on the flower, probably less than what I spent in the first grade. But she got an above-the-oven microwave from me this year, so don’t worry about her. (Worry about me. Ha.) Even her co-worker commented that she’s really working me over.