Waitress

When I was in second grade, my top jobs were writer, actress, and waitress.(I achieved two of three of those dreams, people. What a life. Ha ha.)

“Waitress” was pretty high on the list and I thought about it so much as a child. It seemed so fun and required balancing so much; efficiency; an ability to keep track of details. Only recently doesn’t it occur to me that my dreams might have been shaped by the fact that there were so many TV shows centered around waitresses in the magical 1980s — “Alice” starring Linda Lavin (Husband and I being the same age means he can join me in belting when I start singing “kicking myself for nothing was my favorite sport…”). There was “It’s a Living,” which starred a popular blonde actress who continued in a starring vehicle called “Jennifer Slept Here” (a show centered around the ghost of a Hollywood actress who becomes good friends with one of the current residents of the house who can see her.) “It’s a Living” also starred Julie Hagerty (I think that’s her name, and I think she was in it) who starred in “Airplane” and “America” with Albert Brooks. Who can forget that nervous, neurotic energy on screen. (unless I just did, but mixing up her credits.) There was one episode of the “It’s a Living” that stays with me — there is a boatload of fish about to go bad, then the majority of the episode is how the staff handles a holdup. When the gunman is subdued, the hostess announces that the entire restaurant would be treated to a free meal, then she mutters to the waitresses as she speeds by “get a move on, girls, we are unloading that fish.” I mean, brilliant, non?

There was something recently that happened that made me feel like saying “we are unloading the fish”

Sigh. Now what if there were a lot of shows in the 1980s about about the rambunctious adventures of a group of female engineers? Wouldn’t I have applied to MIT then? Maybe. It’s funny how these chance, kind of superficial things can shape the path of your life or at least a large swath of your thoughts.

I would make a terrible waitress.

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