You know what? I think I have to give the notion that I can speak Spanish. Did I take it from 7th grade through senior in college for an easy A? Yes. Have I practiced? No.

These past few months, I have broken out the Spanish 2-3 times with strangers and the response was zero, (or nada. Hardy har har). This is what I say “Hace muchas anos que tengo opportunidad para hablar. El estado de mi espanol esta tan pathetico.”/”It’s been many years since I have had the opportunity for speaking. The state of Spanish is very pathetic.” (You will have to imagine the accents and the missing “en-ya” squiggle over the “n” in “anos.”) Or some such sentiment. If I’m feeling particularly free, I might add “Cuando bebi cerveza, hablar es mas facil porque no tengo verguenza.”/”When I drink beer, speaking is much easier because I’m not embarrassed.”)

It used to be I got a huge reaction, since people are not generally used to Asians speaking Spanish. But the last two times? Total crickets. I must be dropping words here and there, I’m definitely remembering fewer and fewer words with each foray and there is not response because it is clear that I would not be able to hold a conversation. Sigh.

So I let this go. I let go of the idea that I am someone who can speak Spanish. I let it go because it’s embarrassing and it puts the other person in an awkward situation.

(On the same topic, I bought First Son and me a proper 88-key keyboard. He’s been learning on a 60-key keyboard and since I just recently bought “Creep” by Radiohead piano music, I’ve been trying to play and it’s weird to have keys missing! But again, I played from 5th grade to senior year in college. I could sit down one in a while and play Bach, Rachmaninov, the same level I stopped at. No more, man. Today, I was trying out a piece and I could remember a lot of the base notes and wasn’t even sure my hands were in the right spot. EEEEEEK!)

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