the umbrella principle

Yes, it’s a catchy song by Rihanna but umbrellas also are like, to me, a demonstration of some kind of order in the world, a tangible example of karma. It’s odd, but for every umbrella I break or lose, I always find another one. I’ve found one on the subway, in Dunkin Donuts, in my parents car, wherever. I was thinking about it because Nancy said she needed an umbrella the other day, saw one on the street, and didn’t take it. But later was like, “That was for me!” And I’ve done the same thing — ignored umbrellas, b/c I’m too lazy or b/c I’m not homeless, etc., but then, I realized, these umbrellas are as close to actual signs as I’m going to get in real life. It’s like when you’re playing a video game, and you make your character pick every single piece of gold or a medical package to extend its life span. I’m really good at collecting on that stuff in a video game, so why not in real life? Like Pac Man, after he eats eighty million little pellets and sees that one big, glowing pellet, you think he’s too lazy to not eat that big glowing pellet? Hell no. I’m just saying, don’t ignore these signs. Does that make sense? It’s very possible…that you have no idea what I’m saying and are backing away from the computer slowly.

Another umbrella story: Last week, I was leaving a restaurant and watched this man turn from his meal to watch my friends Alex and Kurt look for their umbrellas in the bin by the door for a good five minutes. And I couldn’t stop laughing, because this man was staring because he was just worried that they would take his umbrella. Thank You Sir! It’s so nice to meet someone more anxious than me! What a gift. See? Universe lessons courtesy of umbrellas. Thank you.

2 Responses to “the umbrella principle”

  1. nnk says:

    I house managed last weekend and all the patrons left their many umbrellas in the small buckets I put out. Many, many umbrellas in a sloppy, damp heap. Reminded me of a pile of dead, wet birds. Anyways, at the end of the night, this guy comes up to me and says, “Someone took my vintage umbrella!” I felt so bad for him! But yes, people steal umbrellas from the communal umbrella bin! I hope the umbrella stealer will be visited by the umbrella karma soon.

    PS I’ve decided to sing Rihanna’s Umbrella at every karaoke gathering I attend. Joy for everyone! Umbrella! ella! ella! ay!

  2. tlee says:

    why on earth would you get a vintage umbrella? you can’t hold on to that stuff, though i love your dead, wet birds image.

    i love when you sing Umbrella. I remember you singing Respect at Maria Gamboni’s house years ago. Are you going to do that?

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