So this play I’m currently in, as awful as it is, has cemented some of my more positive feelings about acting, like this is something I can do, I have some mad skillz, blah blah blah, and I cruised this regional theater audition got a call back, and then kaboom. Or a mild-ka-boom (let’s not be crazy). You know how you know exactly what to say AFTER the moment passes?
Here’s sort of how my audition for “Jewtopia” went:
DIRECTOR: Can you read the side again with an accent?
PLAYWRIGHT: Like do you have a Mongolian dialect?
ME (smiling, wanting to please): No, I didn’t have time to study one. You mean, read the Mongolian section with a Mongolian accent? (refering to the lines written in “Mongolian”): Oh, wait, is this part really Mongolian?
PLAYWRIGHT: Sort of. I don’t know. No. Just do the thing with an accent. The whole play is a sendup of stereotypes, so if you could do a funny accent, that would be great.
ME (slowly truth dawning on me): Oh, oh, oh you want me to do the whole part with an Asian accent.
DIRECTOR (smiling, happy I got it): Yes!
Oh yeah, this is a reminder why I’m not a fulltime actress.
Do you know Siho? She DID that role. They crazy.
Ugh, W H YYYYYYY
Why else–it P A I D.