joke, one of many by First Son


First Son: Do you want to hear a joke?
Me: Totally.
First Son: Why did the chicken poop the volcano?
Me: What?
First Son: Why did the chicken poop the volcano?
Me: Why?
First Son: Because he wanted to die.
Me: …
Me: …
Me: Really?
First Son: Yeah.
Me: Wow.
First Son: I told Elliot that joke.
Me: Elliot, the guy who bit you, but the teacher thinks air-bit you?
First Son: Yeah.
Me: Did he laugh?
First Son: Yeah.

I could tell I disappointed First Son by not immediately laughing uproariously, but it’s a joke that gets funnier with each telling. By the time I repeated it like five times to Husband, we were rolling around, because, seriously, it is so unbelievable that this is our life.

Because he wanted to die.


Mother of the Year

the martian starring matt damon

images The poster says “Bring him home,” to which I respond “How about we leave him there?” That is how annoying I find Matt Damon.

Recently, he was caught putting his foot in his mouth for the reality series he produces called “Project Greenlight.” He interrupts an African American woman filmmaker about the value of diversity — he is pro-diversifying casts, but not the folks who write and produce film, preferring quality to speak for itself.

Ugh, gross.

I’m not even go into too much why I think this is a douche bag stance to take. One gossip site I frequent thought the inclusion of this bit meant that he was willing to look imperfect in public. I disagree. I think he included this recording of self-absorbed behavior because he thought it was perfectly okay and has no idea how fortunate he is. He is a citizen of a majority bubble.

All of Hollywood is caucasian. Still, after all this time, after some Asian Americans making in-roads, it’s still mostly white. And note, I like caucasians! But just as I like variety in my food, I like variety in the entertainment I consume. I’m tired of all-white casts. Look at every movie poster — they usually features one or more caucasian faces only. We have many more colors in this society. Can’t we do better? I say that as a very, very lazy Asian. I have far more social conscious activist friends who try to tackle the issue of diversity in many arenas, but for me…I don’t know what my point is. All I want to say is that I plan to spend my money elsewhere, thank you very much.

library time

51Y+dHKJrAL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_ I am attempting to log in more hours at our local library so the children do not become illiterate. They roam, mostly drawn to the library computers, which feature “educational” games (I guess. Are any screen game truly educational? Yes, of course they are, but the kids need less screen time not more of it.) I let them choose a bunch of DVDs and books, and the Wonder Twin Boy liked “Do You Sing Twinkle?” Until I started reading it that night, I did not realize it was a story about divorce. In fact, the subtitle is like “A Story of New Families.”

I’ve had to explicitly reassure First Son that divorce is not in the cards for this house and that it was not a worthy anxiety. In the meantime, Wonder Twins Boy loves this story about a couple who divorce, the mom remarries and moves three hours away with her new family. I truly recommend this book if your family is coping with this kind of situation, but for me, I’m trying to sneak it out of our home pile of books and to never let the kids read it again.

Yay! Parenting win!