asians on “Saturday Night Live”

saturday_night_live-thumb-320x320-11158 Psyche! Tonight’s episode starts with a sketch opening with Obama and the head of the Chinese government and his Chinese translator. I actually didn’t think it was offensive and it was funny, but the Asian characters were played by white people. Doesn’t that feel funny (funny strange, not funny ha ha) to you? Just hire a freaking Asian and more girls, please.

On the flip side, if I were an Asian cast member and were only called upon to play foreign, non-English speaking characters, I would also be annoyed.

Forget it, I cannot be happy.

mrs. sybil warnick

Fiddler3 On my way home today, I remembered my fourth grade teacher. At the time, I was at P.S. 55 in Staten Island where the average class size was 45 (insane), and yet, somehow she made our entire class feel cared for. I have no idea how she pulled it off.

I would have remembered her anyway, because her class was the first time I remember showing guts and going for something. I went against my shyness, auditioned for her class musical, got cast as Golda in Fiddler, launching a multi-year Jewish identity (which confused everyone in my path).

But I’m lucky because I remember stupid little things like how we used to line up outside the classroom after lunch, gabbing and pushing each other, normal pre-teen stuff. One day, she walked up and raised her voice “And the coolest person here is…” which caused us to riot into two quiet, straight lines. When she reached the door, she turned to us and said “Don’t even bother, because the coolest person here is me,” followed by a huge smile.

For fourth graders, this was too funny, and we about died. Ugh, I just adored this teacher.

subway adventures

subway-seat You know, when I was just chubby, people gave up their subway seats for me all the time. They would yell across packed cars to make sure the entire car would know that I needed a seat, mistaking my middle for a baby-to-be, but now that I finally am and look pregnant, I got nothing. I’ve already espoused my whole subway bill of rights p.o.v. extensively (if you don’t give up your seat for old or preg people, I’m pretty sure you’re some sort of scum), so no need to expound upon it now.

Finally, this morning, I got my first offer for a seat ever. I was so excited and flustered that it took me about five tries to say “No thank you.”

fingerling potatoes

416YDPKD1DL._SL500_AA280_ TR011-trumpette-peewee-argyle-baby-socks-lg So I usually visit Korea every 8 years or so. The last time I went, we brought Husband (who was just Boyfriend at the time, but became Fiance after we found out my mom was introducing him for the entire trip as such). We went to this crazy dinner at a restaurant where my father’s entire family sat at one table — it was packed with people I hadn’t seen since my teen years, cousins, aunts, uncles, all speaking Korean, some looking vaguely familiar, some not at all.

My dad and I sat next to each other and didn’t say anything at all. We both shut down, because it was just too bloody overwhelming. Anyway, after we ate, we all gathered in the parking lot and one of my cousins, Robin, gave me a present to open after I have a kid, since she wasn’t sure when we’d see each other again. I didn’t open it then, since I was just coping with being engaged. That was like six years or so ago now, and I forgot about the present, but found it buried in the back of our kitchen closet. I just opened it:

Dude, it was ten pairs of baby socks the size of fingerling potatoes. So cute and disturbingly small.

taylor werewolf

taylor-lautner-demi-lovato-2009-kids-choice-awards-10 In the Twilight films, there’s a young actor playing the main werewolf, Taylor Lautner. (Yes, it’s a retarded series. Yes, I’m addicted. Yes, I already have a ticket to New Moon during its premiere weekend and am excited about it.) What freaks me out is this kid, who has become majorly buff with an eight-pack and big shoulders, is only 17. There is a GQ spread with him in some beautiful clothes, but also shirtless, where he looks about 25…and it disturbs me. Not just because he’s simultaneously hot and a kid, but also, how much attention is being concentrated on him. Of course, it’s to sell a movie, but there’s a real person concerned and by all accounts, fame is corruptive, something that people survive in spite of, not because of. Many adults cave and lose their minds, so how do they expect a teenager to handle this and survive? It sort of reminds of Britney’s teen years, where she was flaunted as this object of great desirability and it feels creepy. They trot these kids out to make MONEY.

The Byung Sisters’ American Vaudeville Tryout

Byung Sisters hi, here’s a show i’m doing with my friends. singing, dancing, mayhem.

The Byung Sisters’ American Vaudeville Tryout
Wednesday, November 18, 2009, 8pm.
Tickets: $10.

Presenting at ANT FEST 2009
Ars Nova
511 W. 54th Street at 10th Ave.
The Byung Sisters have arrived on US shores and are determined to make it. All they have to do is give the audition of a lifetime with their vaudeville act!

Created and Performed by Nancy Kim, Tina Lee, and Christine Simpson; Directed by Sarah Thigpen.

To purchase your tickets:


gallery_3609_94_31376 So I’m having a boy. I can’t tell you how shocking that was to me to know — mostly, because I am a girl, I know nothing about being a boy, and I now have a little penis in my body. Is that not wild?

Girls are easier in that the clothes are cuter and the names are nicer, but whatever, my mother has yelled at me repeatedly to stop expressing these things because the baby can hear me, so after this blog, I will stop.

Naming a boy is not easy. Do you know what the baby books list as possibilities? Agamemnon, Dionysus/Bacchus, and Scott. The names get so bizarre that “Banjo” starts to look normal, and you find yourself saying, “Yeah, Banjo. Banjo’s a good name.”

This morning, it occurred to me while Ive been expending all this energy flipping out about having a live being growing inside me, it might be weird for the baby today. Like he could be thinking, “Wait a minute, there’s someone out there. Let me kick again and see what happens. OH MY GOD, THEY KICKED BACK, this is so like Encounters of the Third Kind,” etc.

Sorry if you’re getting news from this site about my life from the blog. I tried to snag all pals before I started yakking about all this, but did not succeed, so major sorries.

When Texting Kills, Britain Offers Path to Prison

images images2 images3 So in Britain, there’s a 22-year-old girl who killed another twentysomething girl, b/c she was texting while driving and totally rammed into the victim’s parked car, which she didn’t see. She’s going to jail for 21 months. I think she should. Is that wrong? I’m sorry, but I’ve been reading about one U.S. case this summer where a 17-year-old boy texted while driving and killed the 50-year-old driver in the other car. He got a TICKET. That seems too lenient to me. It’s not the same thing as “intent to kill,” but still, SOMEONE DIED.

Thinking about it practically, jail for a text-killer is not ideal. I don’t think jail reforms people, and in fact, jail has shown to corrupt prisoners, changing them permanently so that they are unable to live an “honest” life when they get out.

I don’t know what the appropriate punishment should be — maybe it should be treated more like a D.U.I., where you have probation or mandatory education classes or SOMETHING, but to only get a ticket seems really lame to me. But on another level, nobody in contemporary society has an attention span any more. All of us are distracted by technology, our focus fractured by the Web, TV, cell phones, blackberries, but to be that distracted when operating having machinery, such as a car, can’t happen. That’s just wrong. There’s movement to establish stronger laws about calls/texting while behind the wheel, so hopefully, I won’t have to flip out about this too much longer.

(The dog behind the wheel should never happen. Ha ha. Just thought it was cute….and stupid picture.)

doctor who

david-tennant-doctor-who1 You know what I realized today is that one of the distinctive characteristics of time lords, according to Doctor Who, is that they have two heartbeats. Um, hello, I have two heartbeats right now. Totally weird.