So the current play I’m working on feels like a Mexican soap opera. I’m not trying to be totally racist. Allow me to explain. I read some interview with Salma Hayek where she described as her old soap opera days in Mexico as insane, because you’re in a scene and have to wear an ear bud because they constantly give you new lines to say.
This play is nuts. I have no idea how it’s going to turn out. There are fight scenes, music, singing, dancing, there’s a dog in the show, two actors were out because of illness, one threw his back out. We show up to rehearsal and get scene rewrites. Today, I’m supposedly getting a new song for the recorder, which I just learned how to play two weeks ago and kind of suck at. My husband tutored me in a few monologues last night, and he was like “I don’t feel like you have a point of view. What’s your objective?” And really, I feel like a beginner all over again, because I have no objective other than to memorize my lines in time. We open Saturday. You feel me?
Completely unrelated and true, the fight choreographer asked us to pose in martial arts stances and make those “whooo-aaaaawe” sounds they used to make in those old pics. I felt like a douche bag (DB) but I tentatively raised my hand and said, sorry, I just can’t do that. I can’t make Asian gibberish sounds, because it makes me uncomfortable. To completely overthink the matter—does it bother me when other people do it? I don’t know. Old-time martial arts flicks are so ubiquitous and a part of American culture that everybody kind of does the crane pose with accompanying noise—BUT I CAN’T DO IT! IT MAKES ME FEEL CREEPY and like a total traitor. Other people are doing it in the play, which I don’t care about. But if it offends you, please know that I’m honoring the cause. if you come see me in the play and listen carefully, you’ll hear me say “NoIdon’tthinkso,” “Whatchoocallit,” and “Ilovechocolatemilk.”
My husband gives me advice like “Don’t worry about it” and “Have fun with the part,” which is like against my nature, but I’m to try. That sounds so healthy.